a poem

My heart has been wounded and weak
but my God does not sleep
He moves in mysterious ways to establish my days in Him.

My heart has been wounded and weak
but my God does not sleep
He moves in mysterious ways to establish His praise in me.

Nissi's Notes

About the title; when I was much younger, much of my family called me Nissi, pronounced neecee. A few still do and I like it. So on with the post...

Dill Pickles. I really like dill pickles. I eat them on grilled cheese sandwiches and hamburgers. I eat them with potato chips and popcorn and even by themselves. We usually buy the Wal-mart brand or sometimes Vlasic's Ovals. I decided to read the labels a few days ago because I wanted to see if the ingredients were basically the same. I found out that both brands contain high fructose corn syrup! Now I like sweets but if I'm eating high fructose corn syrup I want it to be in my candy corn or Snickers or hot fudge cake. I don't need it hiding in my dill pickles! Wal-mart had one more brand there, Mount Olive, that didn't contain the corn syrup, so I bought those even though they were a few cents more.

Cold Weather. I am so cold right now, well, at least my hands are cold. I'm not good at being cold. Actually, that's inacccurate. I AM good at being cold, I'm cold when most people aren't. What I mean is, I don't take being cold well at first. It takes me awhile to adjust. Maybe it's because my thyroid is defective. Even though I take medication, which helps tremendously, I'm still more susceptible to cold, bone density loss and difficulty in losing weight. There is something in the hormone from the thyroid that medicine can't imitate. They used to give people extract from pig thyroids. I know that sounds gross, but I would take it if I had it.

Well, that's it for now...

Love, Nissi

Birthday...an exciting time for me; still becoming who I am
wondering next year who I'll be...
Endless Possibility.

Something stirring deep inside
Anticipation of the bride
"Won't you come with me, little girl, on a Magic Carpet Ride?"

My birthday was November 16 so I just go ahead and celebrate til Thanksgiving which takes me on into Christmas and the New Year. This time of reflection and celebration helps compensate for the cold, biting winds and diminished amount of sunshine. This time of year the sunlight seems brighter than in summer but it's warmth has been severely compromised by the chill of winter. I used to sink into a deep depression during this time, I think I had that lack of light syndrome. But the Light within has grown and I can see so much to be thankful for and so much life to be celebrated.

Overall, October was a hard month for me. The ocean is always rough these days and those waves will beat you up. But when you learn to surf those waves it can be joyful and exciting. Sure, you'll still get wiped out by one every once in awhile, but if you catch the next one just right, it might just lift you up and take you all the way to the shore.

Love to All. kdr

Inner Calm by Fenelon

"I hear you are having problems sleeping. You must wait for sleep in peace. If you let your imagination run away with you when you are trying to sleep, you may never get to sleep. I will not think that you are growing spiritually until I see that you have become calm enough to sleep peacefully without restlessness.

Ask God for calmness and inner rest. I know what you are thinking-that controlling your imagination does not depend on yourself. Excuse me, please, but it depends very much on yourself! When you cut off all the restless and unprofitable thoughts that you can control, you will greatly reduce all those thoughts which are involuntary. God will guard your imagination if you do your part in not encouraging your wayward thoughts.

Live in peace. your imagination is too active; it will eat you up! Your inward life will die of starvation. All that buzzing in your mind is like bees in a beehive. If you excite your thoughts, they will grow angry and sting you! How can you expect God to speak in His gentle and inward voice when you make so much noise? Be quiet and you will hear God speak. Live in the peace of Jesus." copied by kdr

Spiritual Inheritance

It' been a very long time since I was twelve years old and first read "Gone With the Wind." But for the last few months a passage from it kept coming to mind. It takes place after Scarlett makes her way back to Tara from Atlanta. She arrives to find Tara intact, but her beloved mother dead and her father's mind unhinged. She finds that if she, and what is left of her family are going to survive, it will be primarily up to her. To help lessen the shock she is in, she drinks a dipper full of hard spirits. She thinks of all the stories she heard from childhood of her ancestors on both sides, many who overcame great obstacles and "crushing misfortunes."

"All of those shadowy folks whose blood flowed in her veins seemed to move quietly in the moonlit room. And Scarlett was not surprised to see them, these kinsman who had taken the worst that fate could send and hammered it into the best. Tara was her fate, her fight, and she must conquer it.
She turned drowsily on her side, a slow creeping blackness enveloping her mind. Were they really there, whispering wordless encouragement to her, or was this a part of her dream?
'Whether you are there or not,' she murmered sleepily, 'good night-and thank you.' "

It was on my mind to the point that I actually pulled out the dusty book, found the passage and read it to my husband. I know, he really is a treasure!

Also coming to mind was a scene from the movie "Hildago"; actually two scenes. Frank, the main character seems somewhat ashamed of his "half-breed" status. His mother was Native-American. But during a long, hard race across a desert in the middle east, an Arabian opponent says something to the effect that he comes from a long line of a noble people who have raised fine horses, at which point Frank yells out "So do I!" In the other scene, Frank and his horse are down and have given up to the point of death. Then Frank has a vision of his mother which encourages him and helps him to not give up.

Then about a week ago, I read an excerpt from Bob Jones' Shepherd Rod-2009:

"We all have ancestors who for different reasons never completed their calling in Christ. Their gifts are still available because of bloodline blessings. It's time to ask God for our spiritual inheritance; that which our ancestors left incomplete. We need to ask God to grant us the wisdom, mercy and grace to walk out that which we were called to."

I was also reminded of the "great cloud of witnesses" referred to in Hebrews 12:1.

KDR